2026-08-03
10:16pm, Been reading lots of books lately, and I'm happy with where I'm going creatively.
10:16pm, Been reading lots of books lately, and I'm happy with where I'm going creatively.
10:32am, Trying to journal daily again, I might be bipolar, Lil uzi might be goated actually.
09:32am, One of my Pokémon card collections is finally complete, I feel like I really can socialize with people and not stay stuck feeling like I don't belong, some times it comes to me, but not as strong lately, been feeling pretty fine, kinda stressed, but I'm trying to relax, and not think too much about things I can't control, but still thinking a bit about what I have some control over.
9:30am, Feeling a bit better today, I'm excited for Summer Game Fest, even made a bingo card with my friends, been playing a lot of PvZ and Chrono Trigger lately, great games, I'll try to get back at art because it's been some time since I last tackled something creative and this is starting to bother me.
10:06am, Dissociating at work, not cool.
09:51am, Feeling like an animal, just going day by day without knowing where I'm going. Breathing, eating, sleeping and repeating, of course I have my opium, as does anyone else, but when I'm alone, I can't help but feel desolate.
08:55am, Stuck alone in a dark room, there's a window, but I pretend it's not there, there's also a door, I know the door is unlocked, but I can't make myself to go through it, maybe I'm meant to stay here all of my life. I can feel my body rotting.
03:40pm, Planning a Curse of Strahd campaign, kinda, I'm really tired these days, I might be lacking a vitamin or something idk. Hope it doesn't rain so I can skate today.
08:52am, I don't really care about dream journaling or whatever but today I had a dream where me and some friends were escaping what looked like a shopping mall, then we entered a door leading to a seemingly normal living room, in this room there was a door that when opened it revealed your worst fears and made you relive some traumas, initially I was terrified of going in, so I stayed outside, but some creature or entity appeared to my friends explaining something, and they convinced me to go in.
It had some ritualistic aspect to it, where if you closed the door during what it was showing you, it could lead to some bad things, I don't really know what but at some point in there I started to see shadowy figures moving, and other scary things that I don't know how to describe, it was really weird because the room was very comfortable, with low, yellow lights and 80s aesthetic, maybe another time I finish talking about this dream, I'm at work rn :P
12:15pm, Feeling low today, like I never accomplished anything in my life, trying to grasp my 'self'.
09:31pm, Getting burnt out from the internet but i'm alright, pretty good weekend as usual.
12:04pm, Chill but annoying day so far, i'm pretty inactive from the internet and it's been some days since I last read or painted something, the weather is nice so I've been skateboarding a lot lately, it's really fun. Don't know how to feel or what to say lately.
08:47am, Finally went skating yesterday and it was great, couldn't land any trick but it was fun nonetheless, I may be growing tired of maintaining this website. I'm feeling pretty lonely lately.
10:51am, Sleepy at work again, had an allergic attack, but overall it's alright, started eating better, still reading/drawing, and started saving money again :) in a pretty good place rn, AND, there's going to be a Yoshitaka Amano exhibit in my city so i'm pretty stoked about that too.
08:04am, A bit sleepy, but I'll make it through the day, it's pretty chill recently, hope it stays this way.
01:28pm, Weekend was nice, bought RE3 and Jedi: Fallen order on the steam sale and played them a lot, week is starting slow but I kinda like it, I can organize well my thoughts and the things I need to do, went back to tracking my calories, and that's about it.
08:50am, Played OW2 yesterday unfortunately, had a chill conversation with my grandma, and played FFV the rest of the night, pretty chill night overall, the D&d session the day before was nice too, really funny, DMing it motivated me to continue writing my future campaign.
09:00am, I've been longing to play FFV but everytime I try something bad happens, like yesterday, I played OW2 and when I went to play FFV I got a terrible headache, and today I also can't play because I'll DM D&d today, I want to start making the art dump segment on my website but I just don't have enough time or energy to do this yet, but I will. I just want to make something to make myself proud of.
12:38pm, Cool weekend, riddled with anxiety attacks and also D&d, we couldn't finish the session so I'll try to end it tomorrow with my group. Also, I started using Ibispaint to draw on my phone, at first I wasn't that excited but it turns out that drawing digitally on my phone is pretty fun and convenient. Played a lot of MK11 (I love this game) and OW2 (I kinda hate this game lol) and that's about it.
01:15pm, Was reading an article about AI water usage, and yeah... Capitalism will destroy our planet. Writing an RPG oneshot for saturday ^^
11:18am, Questioning myself a lot and feeling like I don't belong, but it might just be anxiety, idk.
12:51pm, It's finally friday but I can't help it, everytime I look at the clock it's a gamble and I always regret it, at least I can read in peace.
02:21pm, Bored at work, again, was reading Sartre and I really want to continue reading but rn I'm just not in the headspace.
01:36pm, Bored at work, again time is passing kinda slow, but at least it's chill here.
11:49pm, Saturday. The sky was holding back it's tears, the strong metal scent of the subway station was purged in a dim sunbeam, sad trees and sad people looking at us, I was relieved. We were lost for a bit but quickly that shy bookstore revealed itself for us. Inside, that weird smoky smell of coffee filled the air, browsing through the books, some interesting ones, but none that could really peak your interest, sometimes you're damn picky, I like it.
We found another one, even more bashful, this bookstore smelled of old paper, it was intimidating but at the same time inviting, tempting, it was worse than the last one, you couldn't even look straight at the books, just like me, it was disorienting, I ended up buying 4 or 5, I don't really remember. Slowly the sky was holding it together, unfortunately I knew our time was approaching it's end, we didn't have much money anyways. You were so radiant that day, I was happy.
12:57pm, Played some Overwatch today, kinda stressful but fun at the same time.
11:04pm, Pugsr posted a video about LISA O.O, will probably watch tomorrow.
05:50pm, Went back to my old job, I'm starting to exercise again and eat healthy, maybe shit do get better.
08:32pm, Playing through FF4 and drawing with my GF, pretty chill day, after playing the first 6 FF games I might play Baten Kaitos.
12:09am, Created a new OC in a long, long time and played the Pragmata demo, it was really fun.
12:08pm, Been feeling apprehensive lately, at least I went back to drawing, I hope I can gather some strength to post some of my art on this website soon enough ^^
02:14am, In a discord call with a friend talking about anime, I need a job.
12:42pm, I'll finally post things in my artdump, probably.
01:54am, Trying not to go on a long streak without writing here, kinda addicted to terraria rn.
12:55pm, Just bought a new sketchbook, will try to draw more. :^)
14:40pm, Feeling fine today, but I feel I really need to bring down my screentime.
12:19pm, Been outside recently, rainy weather but didn't rain, walked by the beach, seen some moist trees and saw the sea.
Got again the feeling that I can't make anything, maybe I'm depressed.
02:28pm, Just finished editing a video, I'll do the dishes now then play some FF2 or PICO-8 :P
11:47am, Finally been tackling an old creative project of mine, it's simple but it's fun. :)
12:58am, Played smash and mario party with my gf and my friends over, got really drunk, shit was fun.
10:17pm, Very fun day, my gf bought me the physical edition of #DRCL in the bookstore.
10:59pm, Damn, OW can be stressful sometimes.
12:28am, Wanting to create, but I just have no ideas, I hate this.
09:01am, Read the first chapter of The Castle by Franz Kafka, I'm liking the way he writes, it's unnerving sometimes.
07:26pm, Got outside and took a walk, the weather was really nice, the sky was gray, The breeze brought to me the salty smell of the sea, eventually I got tired of walking/bored so I went to the mall and grabbed a milkshake, I also bought a new book, I need to get back to reading.
08:44pm, Been feeling very uncreative lately, will try to go outside tomorrow, see where the subway will take me and just take a walk.
03:06am, Just took a shower, washed my hair, trimmed my beard, came back from the balcony after smoking a cig while watching the blurry outside lights. It's been some time since I last cleaned my glasses.
01:00pm, I'll start my final fantasy phase, don't interrupt.
03:00am, Killed Malenia twice with a friend of mine, it was pretty fun.